I was re-reading my past blog posts and noticed how horrible I sounded toward the country of China. The posts were 100% for myself and my non-readership, and I really quite openly expressed hatred and annoyance that I would never publicly admit to.
I don't think I would behave or write in such a way now, even though I know that no one reads this blog. I just didn't realize how unhappy I actually was throughout my time in China and how I put that onto the country I was in and its people.
I love Germany but in around 3 weeks I will be heading back to the states. I am in a transitional period right now and such inner-disquietude pains me. A lot has changed in the past 3 months. A lot has been done. For one, even though I started my 80-page master's thesis in May, the bulk of the work was put forth during the month of September. During that month, I worked only on my thesis. My boyfriend and I also discussed the imminent end of our two-year relationship. We knew, and I especially knew, that our relationship would be coming to a close, but I never intended on things ending before I departed from Germany. I pictured us being our normal, secure selves until I left for the US. At that time, we would have delivered our goodbyes, and they wouldn't have been tearful on either say.